It was a difficult few weeks of begging and pleading but today it all paid off. This morning it was announced that GM & Chrysler would receive $17.4 billion dollars in loans. "We were relieved. It was a major victory" said a GM spokesman, "but we instantly realized that because of the way the books are handled at both companies that $17.4 was not a nice even number. We prefer 5's and 0's." Accountants from GM & Chrysler met today at 8:45 a.m. and determined the money would best be split by 17. "This gives each company 8.5 billion. A much nicer number." This left .4 billion unaccounted for. By 9:00am a private luxury jet was fully catered and fueled. Accountants, executives and their families boarded the aircraft at 9:07 a.m. for a two week "business" trip to Maui.
While boarding the luxury liner a reporter caught up to them and asked one executive why they felt now was the best time to leave. The Executive was half way up the plane stairs and shouted, "We have a lot of work to do. We need to make sure each penny of the $17 billion is spent wisely so we can get through this down-time. Jobs will be lost, salaries will be reduced. Together we can squeeze each penny to its fullest but we need time. See you next year!"
It was also reported that the executives received a handsome holiday bonus along with a new Lexus. One factory worker who found out his salary was cut by a third and holiday bonuses for most were not available was shocked at the news. "I can't believe they didn't get American cars."
About an hour after the flight took off, all GM and Chrysler factories received the following fax from about 32,000 feet.
"As we prepare to sit down to a wonderfully catered meal on this flight that costs about $12,000 a minute to operate, so we can discuss the difficult days ahead, we have to pause and think of our loved ones. Everything we do is as a family, and as a family our companies will survive. So when you punch in on December 25th and work a shift and a half while receiving less pay just know that you are doing it for the family. As a gift to you all we will be ordering 7 pizzas for each factory. Please let the hungriest eat first. Happy Holidays." 
4 comments:
Those B@st@rds! This story is actually believable, even though I know it isn't. Corporate elite make me sick.
I have similar views on the automakers. Great site BTW, got here from url link on blogger boards.
I wonder if I can get a bailout from the government, too. I bought one of their crappy cars.
Rob - It really wouldn't surprise me either.
TC - Thanks for visitIng. I like to check out the Blogger Board often. That's where I started when I first began this blog. Great info there. I'll swing over to your blogs soon.
Marcy - That's priceless (and unfortunate)!
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