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April Fool’s Day Prankster Gets His Fist Stuck Up His Ass


Sometimes the best pranks are played on the ones who are attempting a prank themselves. Get-the-getter (as it has been nicknamed) has become common practice for those who wish to prank the prankster, and there is no better time to do this then on April Fool’s Day.


This year’s spotlight get-the-getter is on Cleatus Clemper, a farmer in northern Pennsylvania. Clemper comes from a small community and is considered by many the town jokester. Over the years Clemper has short-changed sheets, removed clothing and towels from bathrooms while someone was in the shower, put salt on people toothbrushes, and has placed cups of water on the top of partially opened doors, to name a few. This year many knew they could be the next victim so a few townsmen got together and made a plan.

On the evening of March 31st the men drove up to Clemper’s farm and snuck over to the penned area where his donkey lived. In a giant pot the men had filled a splendid mixture of baked beans, beats, apricots, laxatives and sleeping piles. Then they fed as much of it as possible to the donkey. Before the donkey could fall asleep the men led the donkey up to the front porch. They turned the donkey around so its backside was facing an open window and tied it so there was no way it could move. The donkey would fall asleep and then do what a donkey does when fed beans, beats, apricots and laxatives! This would be the best April Fools Day prank the town had ever seen!

As the news of the prank had spread many townsfolk decided to spend the night hiding in a nearby barn as to witness the mornings silliness. It didn’t take long for the action to begin.

At 3:17 am a light popped on Clemper’s bedroom; a few seconds later the living room, and following that the kitchen light popped on where the open window resided. “What the hell!” yelled Clemper as he flicked on the porch light and kicked open the screen door next to the donkey. “What the F$#@ are you doin’ up here, and dammit what IS THAT SMELL!!”

What happened next would put this day on the town’s permanent calendar.

Clemper was mumbling something under his breath as he walked over to the railing where the donkey was tied and untied it. As soon as he gave the rope a little tug the donkey was startled awake. The donkey was totally confused and began to hee-haw and kick. Then, without hesitation had a bowel explosion that splattered all over the house and porch. As the before mentioned items the donkey ate were the primary cause for this, the second round was a bit less then solid then the first and with tremendous force behind it quickly flowed towards the open screen door. Clemper noticed this and quickly ran for the door. Not noticing the slippery substance beneath his feet, Clemper began to lose his balance slipped forward. Trying to quickly catch his balance he continued to lose his balance but this time he fell backwards towards the donkey’s back side. All of his weight was on the side of the donkey and when he went to brace himself on the donkey, Clemper’s hand slid across the donkey's backside and his fist slid right into the donkey's ass! Not being able to slow down his momentum, gravity continued to pull him downward but the position of his arm was not going to give and the fall broke his arm.
So there lay Clemper...on his knees and unable to stand, covered in donkey-doo with his arm raised over his head and his fist......stuck up his Ass.



4 comments:

Shawn said...

Eagerly awaiting the sequel: Clemper's Revenge.

The Brain Twinkey said...

Shawn - have no fear, Farmer Clemper has something up his sleeve (besides donkey-doo).

Darth Rob said...

Very nice. I wanna hear the donkeys revenge on Clemper and the pranksters. Clemper got pranked but the donkey got fisted.

on the edge said...

OMG !!!! Am peeing my pants !!!LOL !Can see it all right now in my minds eye !

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