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New ShamWow® Toilet Paper Introduced. ShamGross!

You know the ads and you probably know the product. The ShamWow® ads are plastered across all media outlets with the spiky-haired dude named Vince explaining the amazing absorption quality of the ShamWow® . The ads claim that the ShamWow® can hold 12 times its own weight, it can easily remove cola, wine and pet stains, doesn't drip, doesn't make a mess, machine washable and bleachable and lasts ten years. Because of the above, purchasing the ShamWow® will save you time and money and so far has been a great success. So successful that the ShamWow® Company is expanding into a direction that many are finding a bit icky.

Here is the rough copy of how the ad will sound:

“Hi everyone, it’s me Vince again. I’m here introducing the new ShamWow® TP! Don’t wipe and drop it in the toilet. No, not anymore folks! Let's wipe and then throw it in the sink. You heard me! Front side or back side it doesn’t matter! Just rinse, squeeze, then place it on the specially designed ShamWow® TP Holder and it’s ready for the next person! Save the environment, don’t pollute it! You’ll not only save hundreds of dollars a year in toilet paper costs but you will be helping in saving the planet too. ShamWow® TP. It’s cool to wipe and reuse!”

Many people (mostly the tree-hugging crunchy-granola’s) are praising the idea stating how getting back to basics will clean the environment, where stock holders are holing their breath. One can only image how the public will react.

If successful it is being reported that ShamWow® will also experiment with several other ideas. ShamWow® Diapers is next to roll off the assembly line being dubbed the cloth diaper of the future. If successful this will be followed by a special ShamWow® for ladies: Yes, you guessed it. ShamPons® and ShamPads®.



Darth Rob said...

I said they should make a Sham wow toilet paper, back when I first saw Vince on tv. BTW I wouldn't buy crap from Vince. Am I the only one who thinks that guy looks untrustworthy and creepy?

Stickman said...

Not to get too personal or anything, but I told my wife long ago that I would love to have shamwows to use for toilet paper.

Shampons...that's classic!

The Brain Twinkey said...


Ya - the whole ShamWow tp idea may be earth-friendly but I can't see myself walking into a bathroom and seeing a skid-marked ShamWow sitting there waiting for me to use it....Although I do give you both credit for thinking like a BrainTwinkey!

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