The Brain Twinkey | Your Fake News Source Since 2008

Hospitals all around the United States are finding themselves in financial trouble after over-estimating their financial goals for October and November. When hospitals put together budgets for the year one thing always is a constant; Halloween will always bring in increased dollars. Children overeating their candy and getting sick, candy that was spoiled and even in several locations candy with some type of poison. There are also the party goers who drink too much, fights and other adult-type disturbances that go along with the holiday fun. Whatever the incident hospitals will always over staff Halloween night and the days that follow. The last few years there has been a significant drop-off to the candy related incidents and because of this the hospitals have been spending more then they have been making and many people have lost their jobs because of this.

"Parents seem to be taking more interest in what their children are eating." Says one hospital Administrator. "It's great for the children's health, obesity in our youth is at an all time high. Great for the kids, not so great for hospitals. We are a business you know."

Another anonymous hospital Administrator said that even though the last few years has had a drop off in candy related admissions, Halloween is on it's weekend run (this year a Friday and next year on a Saturday) so that always increases their admissions. "We should be okay for the next few years and when Halloween falls during the week we will re asses our yearly goals."

We all have all walked along the rainbow path through the peppermint stick forest, visited the gingerbread plum tree and the gumdrop mountain all while trying to avoid the gooey gumdrops, getting lost in the lollipop woods, or stuck in the molasses swamp. Of course this walk could only take place while playing the board game Candy Land...until now.

It has been revealed that Jester Hasbro had accidental come across the Island when as a youth his parents boat was overturned during a storm and he was adrift at sea, being washed ashore. The story is that he was found by a member of the Candy Castle's Court. He was immediately taken in, nurtured back to health and secretly returned to a location where he could be discovered. Hasbro had always thought this experience was a dream and wrote about it in a journal as a child, later to become one of the most beloved board games in existence. When put in hypnosis recently for a separate matter it was discovered that he had actually visited this island and through certain facts was able to locate it. The island is so remote that even if you arrived there you would fall unknowingly into the islands safety measures and never find the rainbow path. Although upon Hasbro's return he was recognized even though it had been years later and was welcomed with open arms. He was allowed to take photo's and spend some time with the locals (who all had an uncanny resemblance to gingerbread men & women) but the islands location remains a secret.