The Brain Twinkey | Your Fake News Source Since 2008

Defining the word friend:

Dictionary.com - Friend (noun)- a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

Facebook.com – Friend (noun) – Someone who clicks “Accept Friend” when a “Friend Request” is made by any one of the millions of cyber- soles with a Facebook account.

Millions of people from around the world have used social networking, mostly Facebook.com to not only find long lost friends but to also create new relationships. As Facebooks popularity grew, so did these so called “friends” that many were gaining and adding to their profiles. The only difference was that over 90% of all Facebook accounts contain “friends” who individuals have never met or even spoken to, taking the word "friend" and giving it a twist. Most Facebookers do have several of their real friends (‘friends’ being the dictionary.com definition from above) listed in their Facebook friends list, but many social outcasts will tell you they have never met most of, if any of their Facebook friends except in chat. They can't even tell you if the Facebook photo is real.

Even celebrities have Facebook pages with thousands of friends listed but most, if not all of those so called “friends” have never seen this person except in the tabloids or Silver Screen.

Some Facebookers have been known to even create an alter-ego, basically creating a non-existent person and giving them a personality. You can find many of these so called Fakebookers listed as friends to many, solidifying the word 'friend's definition demise. The word 'friend' is now literally in transformation.

So what happens when Facebook finally shuts down their servers and locks their office doors? Will another social networking site take its place? Will all of Facebook Nation be able to contact their Facebook friends ever again? It could be mass hysteria with thousands attempting to gather new email addresses and other non-Facebook methods of communication.

But where will you go? It’s unlikely that every one of your Facebook friends will cyber-travel to the same location as you. So who are your real friends? Do you really have any? Will any of your Facebook friends follow you or allow you to follow them?

Will you become friendless?

The demise of Facebook could be just the turn of luck the word “friend” is looking for. Where a friend is actually someone who you know and have spoken to before. Maybe even spent face-to-face time with or chatted with on the phone! Someone who understands you in the physical sense, not just words on a screen.

Yes! The word friend will then revert back to its original meaning and people will once again rejoice in this new, yet old form of communication! Then maybe, just maybe the faceless world will regain its form and we can embrace the physical world once again.

It has been questioned in the past but never has a situation like this arisen. Sumo wrestling for young children has always been broken out by age. 5-7 years old, 8-10, 10-12 and so on. A circumstance has come to light this year where the thought of breaking out the divisions by size is in the front court.

Enter Rhashim Kumoko who at the tender age of five has been named the most fearsome of his age group. Kumoko was granted an automatic birth into the semi-finals because of his undefeated record throughout the year. His opponent; the six year old reigning champion Samura Laminiche. Laminiche was no match (see photo) for Kumoko and the youngster luckily came out of the match with only a crushed ego.

As the final match was preparing to begin many parents and officials were conferring on if the match should actually be allowed. The safety of Kumoko's opponent was the number one concern. Kumoko had never seriously injured someone, but his challenger was known for his persistence, and he would battle hard. As the discussions were taking place the two entered the ring and positioned themselves as two warriors would. Staring at each other the referee then entered the ring. The the three awaited the decision.

To the surprise off all in attendance Kumoko and his challenger, Yamiska Truseemoto, who also attend school together, arose from their positions and walked slowly towards one another. Stern looks across both of their faces quickly turned into smiles as they both extended their hands simultaneously. Shaking hands, signifying a tie in the match stunned the crowd! The two embraced then together raised their joined hands to the silenced fans.

Seems Kumoko and Truseemoto had planned this from the beginning. If they should make it to the finals the two friends would opt not to fight. Truseemoto did fear that if Kumoko was hungry he might eat him, but luckily this week Kumoko was on a carb-fee diet.