The Brain Twinkey | Your Fake News Source Since 2008

Searching for your ancestors? Wondering how far back you can go until you run into a dead end? Well go back far enough and you may get a little surprise.

Evolutionism has given humans close ties to apes as well as other theories that humans first emerged from the water or the air. Nowhere has a link to humans and chickens ever been discussed….until now.

The Jackson Laboratory’s recent discovery has shocked the science world. The Jackson Laboratory focuses on genetics research and they recently began using a new device that can scan deeper then ever thought imaginable. What they found in their test runs of the machine threw them into a direction that no one had seen coming.

“We took some genetic material from Geraldine, our lab chicken, just to use as a test subject. We weren’t looking for anything specific, just running a test. What we found was more then we bargained for.” said Xio Tsheu, the lead scientist in the genetic testing department. “After testing and retesting Geraldine we discovered a common human trait. After several more tests on Geraldine, as well as one of our lab technicians, we discovered an interesting commonality. This led us to the shocking realization that human’s....were once egg layers” said Tsheu , while shaking his head in disbelief. “This proves it..there can be no doubt”.

“This gives a whole new meaning for pregnant women who are nesting prior to giving birth” laughed David Jackmin, another scientist on Tsheu’s team. “The term really isn’t that far from the truth”.

Tsheu said the science is there but obviously there are no remains discovered to prove this. “Unless” says Tsheu, “There has been some government cover up, although I don’t know why they (the government) would hide this.”

Although Tsheu seemed genually bothered by his discovery he appeared to relax a bit by the end of the interview by stating, “At the least it takes the guess work out of it for anyone wondering what human tastes like.”