The Brain Twinkey | Your Fake News Source Since 2008

Politicians, Foreign Diplomats and Presidents beware when entering the Oval Office. Usually the intimidation factor being in the most powerful nations head office is the most common cause for stress. Now there is a new fear for all who enter....

It’s Bo the First Dog.

Bo (who is a Portuguese water dog) was introduced yesterday amongst dozens of reporters on The White House Lawn to a very optimistic Obama family. The optimism quickly turned to disgust as Mr. Obama later introduced Bo to his Chief of Staff (Rahm Emanuel) in the Oval Office. Mr. Obama’s vision of a slumbering dog at his feet while he signs important documents took a drastic turn for the worse. Bo slowly approached Emanuel and then without warning proceeded to take hold of his left leg and pump wildly. Before Emanuel could react the dog was finished and Emanuel’s suit was ruined.

In hopes of a fluke reaction by Bo, Obama invited in his Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, into the Oval Office for a meeting. Unfortunately the same outcome, although during the incident Obama made light of the situation and proved he is somewhat of a movie buff. He modified a quote spoken by Randy Quaid in the movie Christmas Vacation by saying, “A word of warning Bob; it's best to just let him finish.”

The Obama’s are not commenting on Bo’s bad habit, although it is now rumored that a pet psychologist has been notified and is on route to the White House to assist in the situation.

When asked if the Obama’s will search for a new pet the White House responded by saying that “In no means will the Obama’s abandon their new family member. Steps will be taken to help Bo kick his habit. Maybe Bo and Mr. Obama can work together so while Bo is being assisted in quitting leg humping, Mr. Obama can work on quitting smoking.”

Another blow to Governor Palin's bid for run at the Presidency in 2012 has come to light due to another shady association. It seems that once again the Palin family can't shake the bad publicity, this time because Bristol Palin's neighbors cousins first grade substitute teacher's dog trainer was recently arrested. This was the dog trainers thrid offence for off-leash training in a public park where leash-laws are labeled and enforced. The arrest comes off the states three-strike rule.

"The Palin's just can't catch a break and Sarah really feels she could make a run in 2012" says one insider. "She (Palin) has to realize that her life is still an open book and if she continues to have dark stories from her past, or current associations with "shady" folks it's better to just stop now."

There has been no statement from the Palin Camp but it has to be assumed the news isn't being taken lightly. "Sarah is a perfectionist. Her hair, clothes (borrowed or owned), home; she has to have everything perfect. If it's not perfect she will convince you that it is." Says a former employee of the Governor, "she sure is a good talker."

If a run at the Presidency is in her future Palin really needs to get a grasp of the information that may arise, even more so then her run at the Vice Presidency. An investigator for the Democratic Party says, "Everything is fair-game. If it's out there we will find it, and if she really wants to do this (run for President) then she better turn over all her stones and be prepared to answer."