The Brain Twinkey | Your Fake News Source Since 2008

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal who is in the front running for the Republican nominee for the 2012 Presidential election had an unfortunate incident during a recent press conference. Governor Jindal had a very untimely bout with flatulence while answering a question about Obama, although Democrats don’t find the timing accidental whatsoever.

Governor Jindal has been critical of just about everything Obama has done since Obama’s first televised speech. In his recent ranting a reporter asked Governor Jindal if he was willing to reveal his true personal feelings about Obama and his administration. Governor Jindal replied, “What my true feelings about the man are not important. My only concern is what is best for this country and the people who live here. My only goal is to continue what I believe in.”

What has democrats so upset is that during the before mentioned response it appears that Governor Jindal broke wind.

After the statement, “What my true feelings about the man are not important..” you can see the Governor lean slightly to the right. Fortunately for the Governor there happened to be a lot of background noise in the room and no one noticed.

A reporter for CBS News was preparing for the evening news and reviewed the tape; what he uncovered at first seemed not possible so he brought in an audio specialist to assist him in his research. The audio specialist examined the tape and was able to remove several noise layers which uncovered the sound the reporter had hoped to hear. Governor Jindal purposely farted in response to his feelings about Obama.

Democrats across the country are furious and are pressing Governor Jindal to immediately admit his actions and apologize. This would most certainly ruin his chance at running for President and throw another negative spin on a party that is trying to dig itself out of the dirt.

The Governor’s Office posted a statement that says “..whether or not the Governor happened to “break wind” during the days press conference has nothing to do with his opinion of the President. If there was a bodily release it was a natural occurrence and should not be seen as more than that. This Office is appalled at the allegation that the Governor would use a fart to describe his personal feelings about the President. The man is very well educated and surely could come up with a more intellectual response just as he did following the supposed gas release.”

The group "Farts for Freedom" have now endorsed Governor Jindal for the 2012 election.

Politicians, Foreign Diplomats and Presidents beware when entering the Oval Office. Usually the intimidation factor being in the most powerful nations head office is the most common cause for stress. Now there is a new fear for all who enter....

It’s Bo the First Dog.

Bo (who is a Portuguese water dog) was introduced yesterday amongst dozens of reporters on The White House Lawn to a very optimistic Obama family. The optimism quickly turned to disgust as Mr. Obama later introduced Bo to his Chief of Staff (Rahm Emanuel) in the Oval Office. Mr. Obama’s vision of a slumbering dog at his feet while he signs important documents took a drastic turn for the worse. Bo slowly approached Emanuel and then without warning proceeded to take hold of his left leg and pump wildly. Before Emanuel could react the dog was finished and Emanuel’s suit was ruined.

In hopes of a fluke reaction by Bo, Obama invited in his Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, into the Oval Office for a meeting. Unfortunately the same outcome, although during the incident Obama made light of the situation and proved he is somewhat of a movie buff. He modified a quote spoken by Randy Quaid in the movie Christmas Vacation by saying, “A word of warning Bob; it's best to just let him finish.”

The Obama’s are not commenting on Bo’s bad habit, although it is now rumored that a pet psychologist has been notified and is on route to the White House to assist in the situation.

When asked if the Obama’s will search for a new pet the White House responded by saying that “In no means will the Obama’s abandon their new family member. Steps will be taken to help Bo kick his habit. Maybe Bo and Mr. Obama can work together so while Bo is being assisted in quitting leg humping, Mr. Obama can work on quitting smoking.”

United States President Barack Obama made an everlasting impression on Queen Elizabeth this past week as the Queen cancelled Sunday afternoon tea to visit a few local basketball courts.

The Queen said she didn't understand the President's passion for the sport and wanted first-hand knowledge.

Within 24 hours the Queen had a custom pair of Nike High-Tops made (to match the color of her dress) and the next day she was driven two hours to the local public ball courts.

The Queen waved and posed for pictures all the while looking surprisingly comfortable in these elements. One of her assistants brought a basketball and handed it to her. The Queen looked confused but proceeded to wave and smile while still holding the ball under her non-waving arm. When one of her assistants suggested she dribble the ball the Queen looked him off and decided to wave and smile instead. Another assistant motioned to her that she should take a shot, and with a very subtle shake of her head the Queen continued to wave and smile.

Then, without any warning the Queen put the rock on the floor and with a spin move took off down the court. The ball moved gracefully through her legs and around her back. As she approached the hoop her speed accelerated and picked up the ball...two magnificent steps later she was air born and reverse dunked! The Queen, facing away from the hoop with a reverse grip on the rim raised both of her knees and then released, sending her to the ground where she then stopped; stood up gracefully and dusted herself off. Without a word she slowly proceeded back to her automobile standing next to her door awaiting her driver to let her in.

President Obama gave another impressive and inspiring speech this past Tuesday (2/24/09) but the results he was looking for maybe overshadowed by the overexcited Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.

Pelosi was noticeably excited by the spotlight and on many occasions rose to her feel with the spirit of a teenage cheerleader, leading the room in applause.

Time and time again Pelosi was first to her feet and several times she rose and clapped early, anticipating the President and what he was about to say, proving her allegiance.

After one particular statement The President verbalized regarding the nation’s children, Pelosi rose to her feet so quickly the camera was unable to keep her in the picture. What was most startling was what the camera caught the next time Pelosi rose:

It was a hard campaign that was supposed to end after Senator McCain called Senator Obama to concede and congratulate him on his victory. It became Obama's night and that should have been the end of the McCain/Palin Ticket; this was until a late night phone call coming into Obama's headquarters from the Governor that had many scratching their heads. Palin told Obama's people that she and the Senator again have disagreed on a tactic and she was taking over the campaign and the concession was being revoked. She abruptly hung up the phone and began to call radio and news stations informing that she was to hold her own press conference and is demanding recounts from every state. Palin also informed them that she was going to add another day for voting so anyone who could not vote can have another chance.

At 1:30am this morning Palin stood up behind the podium to a crowd of seven (including her sleeping baby) and one news station.

Governor Palin was overheard recently saying that if she had known Obama enjoyed the Golden Snack cakes as much as she did, she may have switched parties. She would have then spent time convincing Obama to select her as his running mate. "I know we would make a dynamic team, and in the tradition of former Presidents and their crutches "(for example President Carter and peanuts as well as President Reagan and his jellybeans)" we would be the first President/Vice President with the same addiction.....the love of Twinkies!"

When asked about this later, Governor Palin said that she was just going over a possible skit with a friend in case she gets a call from Saturday Night Live! Although sources tell us she has mentioned this in private before. "She loves Twinkies so much" one source told us, "that she has Vetoed items solely on the assumption that a lawmaker didn't look like a Twinkie lover." When this information was brought up to Senator Obama, he admitted that he really enjoyed a Twinkie from time to time but never let that love affect his politics.