The Brain Twinkey | Your Fake News Source Since 2008

Bradonville, S.D. (BTZ News) – Little Stevie Beakman was enjoying his first assignment as the school newspapers photographer and was hoping to get a shot that was front page material. He loved photography and was enjoying his Sony Cyber-shot H20 that he just received for his eleventh birthday. He had a brilliant idea for a comedy story about paper airplanes flying too low over the school and disrupting classes. He did a little research and found a great design for a paper airplane, made a few and headed to school.

It was a beautiful sunny Thursday morning and there was only a gentle breeze; perfect paper airplane flying weather, and a perfect morning to capture his idea. Beakman set up his try-pod at a perfect up-angle to catch the head and raised arm of statue that sat affront the school’s main entrance. His Cyber-Shot remote control in one hand and his other hand free to throw the paper airplanes over the statue for the perfect shot.

He began to throw them, one after the other, clicking his remote feverishly in hopes to grab the image he so desired. What Beakman was unaware of were the children in the windows of the school who were looking out. Possibly daydreaming, maybe looking at the birds or just accidental looking that way while solving a math problem. Whatever their reasons many children panicked at the sight of these unknown objects and some even ran from their classrooms as the objects continued to fly. A few children pulled out their cell phones and captured video of the event, and then the bell rang. Beakman, unaware of the havoc he caused picked up the planes and the tri-pod, quickly stuffing them into his book bag and rushed off to his next class.

That afternoon the Principal made an announcement asking the individual or individuals responsible for causing the disturbance to turn themselves in. Beakman, who still had no idea about what his photo-op had caused, was confused and unsure what to do. He went to the Principal and explained himself and apologized repeatedly claiming he had no idea that his actions would cause trouble. He was instantly suspended for not informing the school of his plan. He was asked to give the Principal the memory card from his camera so she could see the photos but Beakman refused. That evening several students uploaded their videos to YouTube.

The next day Beakman’s parents called the Principal and they were FURIOUS at their son. They apologized and said their son made a huge mistake and they were hopeful he could return to school soon.

After a two day suspension Beakman gave the memory card to the Principal, but not before he downloaded the pictures and sent them to his editor. His picture and story made the front page.

It was a routine flight. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats in an orderly fashion. The flight attendants went through their safety routine, the cabin door was shut and the plane taxied and took off. Not one person noticed the armrest on seat 14a.
The plane was an Embrair Class jet where the left side of the plane was a single row of seats. This made seat 14a a window and an aisle seat, normally a luxury; this time a potential hazard.
The passenger not taking notice of this prior to take off could have averted a potential disaster if he had paid attention before dozing off.
The problem with the armrest on seat 14a was almost unimaginable in this day and age. With all of the technology we have at out disposal you would hope nothing like this would ever happen. The armrest at seat 14a was that it was missing completely appearing as if someone had purposely removed it! The unknowing passenger in 14a who was so peacefully at rest was in serious jeopardy if he swayed ever so slightly to his right potentially falling into the aisle and disrupting the in-flight routine.
Just in front of seat 14a (seat 13a) a passenger attempting to activate his reading lamp was shocked to find that not only did the light not work, it was missing completely! If the reaction had been anything but that of calmness and discipline it is unknown what type of affect this could have had on the passenger in 14a. With the right set of circumstances one of about a thousand scenarios could have taken place. Luckily the flight continued without disruption and the plane landed safely at Dulles International airport. The plane was sent for immediate repair and it is unknown when it will be re-commissioned.

Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time! One lucky man has a story that will last for generations to come:
All news stations and rescue departments had been warned about the incoming American Airlines Flight #2343. Broadcasts had been non stop on all city media and Internet news stations as well telling everyone to stay off of Highway #1 East.
In an oversight by local officials one on-ramp entrance had not been covered and a lone car made its way onto the interstate. What could have been a tragedy turned out to be one of the most remarkable home videos ever taken...