The Brain Twinkey | Your Fake News Source Since 2008

Sugar, corn syrup, adipic acid, hydrogenated palm kernel & palm oils & soybean oil mono & diglycerides, natural and artificial flavors, artificial colors (including FD&C red3, yellow5, yellow6, blue2 depending on flavor). Sounds pretty tasty and it is! These are the ingredients to the wonderfully suite PEZ candy.
The story: Over the last few years there have been over 17 children documented as geniuses in Orange, CT all below the age of 18! This spawned an investigation by Yale University Professor John Lapezney (La-PEZ-Knee). He had heard of a similar incident in Vienna, Austria but no conclusion had ever been reached.
After extensive studies and interviews Dr. Lapezney had something to move forward with and headed to the lab. Six months later he found his answer and unfortunately the conclusion could never be repeated again.
It turns out that coincidental two farms in two different decades on two different continents had a cow that had almost identical genes. Both of theses cows were milk producers and both of theses cows milk went into the factories that made small milk cartons that were distributed to elementary schools. The gene that made these cows almost identical was a gene that when mixed with red3, yellow6 and blue2 somehow increased brain activity in a portion of the brain that only 10% of the population used. The theory: Both Orange, CT and Vienna, Austria have PEZ factories and although PEZ is a sugar snack most families have a parent who works for the factory which means they eat a lot of PEZ and because they most likely drank milk from these cartons in makes sense why so many children became 'geniuses'. As the gene that was found form these cows is extremely rare, doing genetic tests on all cows would be too expensive and it would be a miracle to find another cow with this gene.