The Brain Twinkey | Your Fake News Source Since 2008

Since the release of software like Virtual Earth and Google Earth people from all over the world have been searching for and asking for a live satellite feed to watch instead of just a satellite photo that is over three years old. With NASA's popularity on the decline and funding being put on the back-buner because of the economy, NASA decided to make one of their Earth viewing satellites available for public use for a small hourly fee.

To get this project off the ground NASA privately went through thousands of email requests from those desiring a public real-time satellite feed. They entered all of the names into a lottery-type software system and then let the lottery program run. They took the first one hundred names to use as their test-pool.

The first five people on the list were called an informed of the news but were ordered not to speak of it to anyone. NASA created a simple navigation program that was easily downloaded onto a PC so the customer would only require basic navigation skills to maneuver the satellite. The satellite's abilities that would be under the customers control would be limited and basic. The customer would choose their hour block(s) by where the satellite would be located in the sky so each user could have their own unique experience and view the part of the world that they chose. Their fee; $75 per hour. It didn't take very long to realize this experiment was a mistake and the operation was shut down after fourteen short hours.

As with all satellite feeds there is a constant stream that can be viewed and stored for security measures. When the tapes from the first public satellite user were viewed the NASA officials were shocked. Billy-Bob Watson had the luck of the draw and had the first opportunity to use the system. His first target happened to be a nudist colony. His second target was his neighbors house; specifically her bedroom. "Woooohooo!" exclaimed Watson, "It was awesome! That there satellite can see a grain of sand on the beach...and other stuff too if you know what I mean....WOW!"

Two hours after Watson's viewing came Suzanne Ofterson. Turns out she thought her husband was cheating on her. She followed her husband's every move with the satellite for three hours and when he entered the home of the woman she though he was having an affair with, she drove over there and shot at them. Luckily no one was hurt. During the investigation Ofterson admitted to using a satellite and when the officers contacted NASA the operation was immediately shut down. Several NASA officials are now under investigation.