The Brain Twinkey | Your Fake News Source Since 2008

"Do women know about shrinkage?" -Jerry
"What do you mean, like laundry?" - Elaine
"No..." -Jerry
"Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..." -Jerry
"It shrinks?" - Elaine
"Like a frightened turtle." -Jerry
"Why does it shrink?" -Elaine
"It just does." - George

For most of the male population this is just a short lived embarrassment that occurs from time to time, but in recent studies hundreds of men from around the world have reported that the usually short-lived experience still remains with them today. Until recently doctors had concluded that it was genetic and shrinkage was just an unfortunate phenomena. Until recently one man's quest proved that this was not true and there was an underlying reason no one had yet discovered.

A former male pornographic movie star, Halbert Hunglongly, made it his quest to prove the doctors wrong after his diagnosis. For years he was a major star in the pornographic movie industry starring in hundreds of movies using his God given gift. This was until one day when he arrived at work he realized that his most prized possession had become what he called "less than ordinary."

Baffled and confused Hunglongly went his doctor for a cure. His doctors gave him the same prognosis as hundreds of men before him; it was just a genetic abnormality and there was nothing that could be done. For him it cost him more then just his manhood but it also him his livelihood.

Hunglongly did not take this news lightly and began his quest to find a reason and hopefully a cure. Genetics was not an acceptable diagnosis. He began looking up similar cases to his own and went through hundreds of interviews but could find no connection. There was no real way to prove the genetics cause because 'size' was not often listed in medical records. It wasn't until January 1st of 2009 where he finally made the connection and instantly had his proof.

Hunglongly was attending a yearly ritual that he began just a short time ago. Attending a charity event where men and women of all ages would meet for the New Year's plunge, and the event was always in cold weather climates. People would collect funds for their 'plunge' and then early in the morning on January 1st they would all run into the freezing cold water together and then exit. These events gather thousands of dollars for a variety of charities and is a most noble cause. This year at the plunge Hunglongly attended as usual and saw a few people that he did not intend on seeing. Oddly enough several of the men he had previously interviewed who also had the incurable shrinkage were participating in the plunge.

The men spoke at length and discovered something that no one had yet put together. Each of these men began to notice things 'not returning to normal size" after they had attended a couple (or a few) of these extreme cold water plunges but made the connection. Hunglongly now had a potential cause and now just needed to re interview the other men to see if there truly was a connection.