The Brain Twinkey | Your Fake News Source Since 2008

Unable to turn off her radio because she accidently broke the knob off in the morning, Maryln Jenkins had an overload of Christmas music and she went a bit mental by destroying her car while parked in a traffic jam.
It was a typical Monday morning. Traffic wasn't moving and many morning travellers were handling this traffic jam the same as they had hundreds of times prior; that is everyone except for Jenkins. Her morning didn't start out so typical and little did she know when she woke up this particular morning she would be arrested and go through a psych evaluation all before noon.
It was a very cold morning so Jenkins went outside to warm up her car. Her car was old and it took some time to heat up. When she turned the ignition her hand slipped off the key and she hit the 'on' button for the radio and broke it off. To top it off the volume was the same button and now her radio was stuck in the 'on' position with the volume just a little bit loud. When the car was warm she started on her way, and to make the best of the loud music Jenkins decided to sing along with every song.
After a few miles she ran into a dead-stop traffic jam. No worries for her as she was enjoying her Christmas music, drinking coffee and having a wonderful time.

Two hours passed.

Passengers in other cars later described the scene as frightening.

"The driver door opened at a normal speed" said the driver who was in the car parked behind Jenkins. "She very normally exited the car and walked casually to the trunk. I really though she was just going to get something out."
Well get something out she did.
"She reached in the trunk and dragged out a huge sledge hammer. She pulled it behind her, dragging the sledge portion on the ground with one hand. She then leaned back and to the side and then that sledge hammer went right over her head and she began to smash her car!"

"It was the music" said LT. Swanson. "She couldn't take it anymore. She tried and tried to turn the radio down or off" Swanson continued, "but there was nothing she could do. When she ran out of coffee and still hadn't moved she get very anxious and snapped. It didn't help that she had to go to the bathroom.

It's called Trafficcrazeanemia (tra-fik-craze-a-knee-me-ah) and recently was brought up in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA). It can be very serious. Everyone is lucky it was only the car that she attacked." Jenkins was detained and is currently in a holding cell. Her car was totalled.

Trafficcrazeanemia with the right set of circumstances can afflict anyone. There are signs that you can watch out for. Dr. Zingerdim has been studying this for several years now, and although it's not a perfect science he says the fist sign could be something as normal as a jittery knee or a nervous tick. Becoming easily agitated as well as having the feeling that you are late for something are all signs. Make sure you have no weapons or large objects in your car to minimize damage if you are overtaken by Trafficcrazeanemia.

Unfortunately all of the signs that Trafficcrazeanemia may be affecting you with are all the same signs that most people feel when in a traffic jam. When Dr. Zingerman says the science isn't perfect we can rest assure that is the one thing that is true.