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Elephant Escapes D.C. Zoo–Relieves Self on “Left” Side of Capitol Lawn


Washington D.C (BTZ News) - Tourists around Washington D.C. had a little excitement added to their visit to the Nations Capitol. This was because of the main attraction at the Washington D.C. National Zoo, Rosalee the Elephant; and they didn’t have to pay admission to see her act.

Rosalee was having her daily bath in preparation for her afternoon show, when her handler forgot to reattach her to the leg shackle. Zoo officials assume Rosalee, who is a very curious animal to begin with, decided to take a walk. When she exited her personal area she wandered upon the rear exit of the zoo and proceeded to walk out.

“It’s absolutely amazing that she wasn’t spotted prior to reaching the Capitol lawn.” said the acting Director of the Zoo, Steven Monfort, “That’s a long walk for anyone, and for a full grown elephant to go unnoticed is beyond me.”

How the next events unfolded has many democrats in an uproar.

The Democratic Majority Leader Steny Hoyer has his own opinion on the event: “Why an elephant and why on the “left” side of the lawn? I’m glad she (the elephant) is fine but this just can’t be a coincidence; this has conspiracy written all over it. If it’s just a coincidence then so be it, but if a loose donkey wondered on to the Capitol lawn and made number 2 on the “right” side of the lawn I’m sure the Republican’s would respond in the same manner. I heard the Rush once worked in the circus…I bet he knows how to train elephants.”

The Republican Party, which can’t afford any more bad press has opted to respond with only a short message: "If you are sitting on the Capitol steps it is clear that the elephant went to the bathroom on the "right" side of the lawn"; an investigation is ongoing by Democratic Leaders.

It is obvious that there is still a major line between Parties here in Washington. If something as trivial as an elephant going to the bathroom on the Capitol lawn has both sides arguing because of which side of the lawn the animal pooped on, then these people are proving they have way too much time on their hands and we as a country need to think about this before the next election.



4 comments:

David said...

When most human tourists can't figure out how to buy a subway farecard, how did Rosalee manage without any opposable thumbs? It is a complete mystery.

cheers

The Brain Twinkey said...

David - I think elephants are allowed on the subway without a farecard. It's kind of a "thank you for allowing humans to keep animals locked up so we can see them" gesture.

Nooter said...

oh hi brian the twinkie im nooter the dog, say thats a nice article about elephant poop, i bet that stuffs good eatin'.

The Brain Twinkey said...

Nooter - I suppose it would depend on that particular elephants diet. Now go lay down and stop licking your privates.

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