The Brain Twinkey | Your Fake News Source Since 2008

Balzack spent hours looking for answers wherever he could; he read magazines, searched the Internet and watched countless hours of Oprah looking for some kind of a spark only to find nothing. He thought because the world was in its technological stage and information about anything was just a click or two away that his problem would be solved easily and quickly…..he was mistaken.

Then one day while reading the USA Today he opened up to a full page add that was titled, “Live Everyday like it was your last!” It was like being struck by a bolt of lightning.

People who survive life threatening accidents, surgery or anything serious are always saying to live life to the fullest; treat each day like it was your last. This was it! This was the spark he was searching for!

But how do you do that? Balzack began to realize that it takes a total transformation of your mind-set. In order to live each day like it was your last you would have to convince your mind that this day really is your last. If you knew you were going to die tomorrow what would you do today? Balzack went to bed with a smile on his face as he realized that tomorrow was the first, last day of his life.

Balzack woke up and threw on his bathrobe. As he opened the front door to breath in the fresh morning air the paper boy approached him. Balzack smiled and reached out to receive the paper from the boy. Balzack rolled it up ever so carefully and then smacked the paperboy across the head while laughing hysterically! The paperboy stood in shock only to receive a back-handed smack across the face with the same newspaper. The paperboy turned and ran only to be chased down the front walk while Balzack was swinging the rolled up newspaper, still laughing.

He sat down on his front steps exhausted but was now confident that his new life decision was just what he needed. He carefully began to plan the next part of his day.

Unfortunately for him the paperboy’s father was a police officer and before he could do anything else he was arrested and taken down to the police station. Unable to make bail he sat in a cell until his hearing where he was sentenced to 4 years in prison for aggravated assault on a minor.

Another blow to Governor Palin's bid for run at the Presidency in 2012 has come to light due to another shady association. It seems that once again the Palin family can't shake the bad publicity, this time because Bristol Palin's neighbors cousins first grade substitute teacher's dog trainer was recently arrested. This was the dog trainers thrid offence for off-leash training in a public park where leash-laws are labeled and enforced. The arrest comes off the states three-strike rule.

"The Palin's just can't catch a break and Sarah really feels she could make a run in 2012" says one insider. "She (Palin) has to realize that her life is still an open book and if she continues to have dark stories from her past, or current associations with "shady" folks it's better to just stop now."

There has been no statement from the Palin Camp but it has to be assumed the news isn't being taken lightly. "Sarah is a perfectionist. Her hair, clothes (borrowed or owned), home; she has to have everything perfect. If it's not perfect she will convince you that it is." Says a former employee of the Governor, "she sure is a good talker."

If a run at the Presidency is in her future Palin really needs to get a grasp of the information that may arise, even more so then her run at the Vice Presidency. An investigator for the Democratic Party says, "Everything is fair-game. If it's out there we will find it, and if she really wants to do this (run for President) then she better turn over all her stones and be prepared to answer."