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Michael Jackson's Health Fine- He's Just Becoming a Monkey

It shouldn't surprise anyone that Michael Jackson likes monkeys. Over the years it has been reported that he has owned and possibly still owns his own monkey. Bubbles was the most popular monkey that had been photographed with Jackson (see photo). What may surprise most is the main reason behind Jackson's facial changes and why he often keeps his face covered with a scarf. There is only one answer: It has been discovered that he is transforming himself into a primate.

Recent headlines from several magazines and tabloids have written Jackson is ill and may be fighting a life threatening disease. His spokesman came forward and said the rumors are not true and his health is fine. It is now being reported that the reason behind his recent hospital stays are for the final operations to transform him completely into a primate. "Michael wants to run free in the wild as a monkey. It's been his life quest for the last 20 years and he has spent millions in research and surgeries to get this far" says and inside source. "Once the final operation has been completed he will be flown to a discrete location where he will begin hius new life as one with primates. His human existance has been extremely painful as inside Michael is a Monkey. Once the process is complete, with the exception of his human brain, Michael will be a monkey."

Over the years researches have gradually given Jackson medications and surgeries so the primates will recognize him as one of their own. This has been the most diffucuklt task. Jackson also will have his own primate "smell" as over the years his body has been transformed to give off the primate odor; specifically an odor of dominance. This will allow him to fit in to which ever herd he desires. He may have to fight for leadership but he has been trained by the best.

This photo was recently discovered and was determined to be taken about 3 months ago. This clearly shows the near completion of Jackson's transformation. No one has seen Jackson since this photo was released so he may already be living at a zoo or another public primate viewing area adjusting and preparing for his ultimate release, or he may already be in the wild .

Just before the printing deadline this picture was sent in. We determined the image to be just two days old. When we arrived at the location the Primate Exhibit had been closed down and dismantled. When confronted with the photo we were either ignored or the photo was brushed off as being "Photoshopped". We can neither conform or deny that this is Jackson, but we believe the evidence speaks for itself. Godspeed Michael...Godspeed.


HektikLyfe said... are walking a fine line here.

I would be careful. Not that M.J. is anyone to respect but keep in mind that sometimes it may not only be M.J. that you are offending.

Darth Rob said...

I have a news scoop exclusively for the Twinkey. Michael is transforming himself into a primate because people aren't afraid to let their kids play with a monkey.

F*ck political correctness!

The Brain Twinkey said...

Hektiklyfe - am I offending primates? Not sure who would be offended my MJ transforming himself into a monkey. Didn't think anyone would read into any other way. I guess I could have had him transform into a Twinkie but I think these days MJ looks more like a primate then a delicious snack cake.

Rob - once again...funny stuff.

Alan said...

Hey, was hoping you get a chance to come to Robot Nine and play the Picture Puzzle today.


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