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"Porno Snowman Sculptor" Strikes Again!


In a small, quiet town just outside of Hartford, CT there have been incidents that have shocked and disturbed this quiet community and put this town on the map but for all the wrong reasons. Every couple of days residents are awaking to snowman sculptures where the snowmen are posed in obscene positions. These sculptures are being found all around town and no pattern or suspects have been found.
"Why would someone do this" exclaimed one shocked resident who woke up one morning to a yard sculpture that no one in her family had created. "My children are asking all kinds of questions that I'm not prepared to answer! Mommy! What game are the snowmen playing! Mommy! Is that the game I saw you and daddy playing? It's horrible! This person must be stopped"
Another outraged towns person was even more horrified by something else the sculptor has been doing. "Oh my God! I can't believe he signs his sculptures with his urine. That's disgusting!" That is the only lead that investigators have, that the sculptor is a male.
Not only is this person creating obscene sculptures but they are showing up in parking lots, residential yards and even on the front steps of the police station.
"This individual is getting very daring and it's just a matter of time before someone sees him" says Officer Nicholas Clause. "He may think he is a prankster, but he is violating several laws and will be fined and detained."
Whatever the outcome these incidents have made national and international news and this small and innocent town now has a gray cloud hovering over it. "As soon as the man is found, the sooner we can get back to some normalcy. This is not the kind of Christmas this town was planning on."



6 comments:

Darth Rob said...

I like the bottom pic in the panel, very artistic. Kudos to the Porno Snowman Sculpter, maybe his snow creations have inspired some couples to try something different. He may have even saved a marriage. And all the teenage boys get important lessons that Mommy and Daddy wont teach them.

HektikLyfe said...

If only this were true. It reminds me of things Tom Green would do back when he was still funny.

The Brain Twinkey said...

Tom Green! That's a name I haven't heard in a while. Ya - he was very funny in his day.

TheGreatLife said...

Where are all the snowman hats and buttons at?? haha

The Brain Twinkey said...

T.G.L

I don't know about the hats and buttons but I'm pretty sure I know where the carrots are!

The Acorn King said...

Good thing I moved from that area of Connecticut, or this snow crime might have been pinned on me. Whew.

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