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Alaska Cold Snap Freezes Time


January has not been nice to the residents of Alaska as the damage from the cold that was in the region last week is still under repair. Burst pipes & broken furnaces have been the most popular repairs for homes. Hospitals and shelters are overloaded with the sick and homeless as well as hundreds of cases of frostbite. “I was outside for seven minutes without gloves and now my hands are frost bitten” said one resident.

Temperatures hovered between -30f and -50f for several days and although the temperature is back in the positive, getting life back to normal will take weeks.

As most residents were forced to stay indoors without power or means of communication, survival was everyone’s primary concern. It wasn’t until yesterday the residents of Alaska awoke to a troubling realization. Somehow they were now a day behind.

Renowned scientist Jack Frostingham had predicted this many years ago in a book he wrote called ‘Frozen in Time’. “It happens quite frequently” Fronstingham begins, “when the air reaches a certain temperature it becomes difficult for light to penetrate. Molecules break down and time slows. This often goes unnoticed because the temperature increases over the threshold quickly and time levels itself off.”

Many feel that Frostingham is just a fiction writer even though he claims otherwise. “What’s happening in Alaska is exactly as I predicted, just worse. The extreme cold never rebounded and each day they became further and further behind in time. Time hasn’t had a chance to rebound and the residents of Alaska are literally one day behind. Time actually froze.”

Although it has been confirmed that portions of Alaska are truly almost a full day behind, no explanation from the science world has been revealed.

“After several days of the warmer temperatures they will just catch-up. No one will be able to identify when or how this will happen, it just will.” Frostingham concludes, “I am as sure as one can be that the government will brush this one under the rug when everything is back to normal. In a hundred years the elders will speak of the year that time froze, but it will just be a memory and will be deemed as Folk Lore.”

The North East of the United States and Eastern Canada are now in a similar Arctic Freeze although the same results as in Alaska are not predicted.



4 comments:

Marcy said...

Time froze in Chicago today.

Really.

The Brain Twinkey said...

Time is begining to slow down here in Vermont. I plan on waking up tomorrow and it will still be today.

Darth Rob said...

Well time seems to be ticking along normally here, but I live in the south. The scary part about this is that its crazy enuff to be true.

The Brain Twinkey said...

All I know is you can't go outside today becasue the air is frozen so you can't breathe!

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