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Scientists who create a laser-gun to kill mosquitoes – You are a bunch of Brain Twinkey's!

The laser dubbed a “weapon of mosquito destruction”, yes this is true, has been created and can kill millions of mosquitoes. Thankfully money is being spent on this kind of research.

Dr. Jordin Kare, who is the lead scientist of this project, was recently Brain Twinkey’d.

Dr. Kare told CNN news the new laser can “toast millions of mosquitoes in a few minutes”.

Brain Twinkey Dr. Kare: I have no idea how to cure cancer, diabetes or even the common cold, but dammit I can kill the hell out of those mosquitoes!

Dr Kare: Responding to questions about any potential harm the laser could pose to the eco-system, Kare said: "There is no such thing as a good mosquito, there's nothing that feeds exclusively on them. No one would miss mosquitoes," he said.

Brain Twinkey Dr. Kare: Well there are bats…..bat might miss eating? But if bats die will anyone really care? Oh wait, I think cave pythons, raccoons, opossums, tarantulas and owls feed on bats. But who would miss cave pythons, raccoons, opossums, tarantulas and owls……?

Dr Kare: "In any case," he added. "The laser is able to distinguish between mosquitoes that go after people and those that aren't dangerous. What remains to be seen is how precise we can get."

Brain Twinkey Dr. Kare: Basically on the first day of our research we found that people who eat lettuce 15 minutes before going outside repel mosquitoes. Our grant was for 4.5 million so we had to come up with something. Lasers sounded pretty cool!


Darth Rob said...

End the Mosquito Menace! Get your lasers and zap em!

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what is a brain twinkey?

what is a brain twinkey?
1. Brain Twinkey (noun) (Brein-Twink-ee) 1. One with a cream-filled cranium 2. To live life in a land of Golden Sponge Cake 3. To be good at making shit up.

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