The world’s largest producer of “adult” toys has issued an urgent recall of over 75,000 inflatable sex dolls because the dolls reportedly have an STD. The Company, “Solo-Love” immediately posted the recall after three warehouse inspectors were diagnosed with STD’s. Reports are also coming in from all over the world with individuals who claim to be in a monogamous relationship with a doll, coming down with a variety of STD’s.A statement was released from the Solo-Love Company:
“We here at Solo-Love have always produced the highest quality of adult toy and we are devastated to find out or most popular item, the Mary Doll, is carrying an STD. We are giving all customers a 100% no-questions asked refund as well a $25 gift card for their next purchase. We are terribly sorry about this.”
To most the apology is not enough. One anonymous individual is refusing to return his Mary Doll. “I love her.” He told us. “She is my friend and my lover and I’m not just going to throw her away. You don’t just throw away a loved one because they are sick. There must be something I can do to cure her.” When we informed him the recall wasn’t because the doll was “sick” but because he could get the STD she was carrying, he had no response.
As the situation escalated investigators began to uncover the real truth about the dolls and the STD’s that some are carrying. The three inspectors who were diagnosed with the STD’s not only inspect the dolls as they come off the assembly line they are also instructed to “test-drive” them. Each of these men, as it turns out, all have different STD’s and they tested each doll out without wearing protection, thus infecting the dolls and sending them off.
Jacob Moore of Flatsburgh, Tennessee gave the following statement when he was told about the recall, “That cheating bitch! I knew I smelled cologne the second I began to inflate her! The sex wasn’t that good either. Take her away, I can’t look at her anymore.” Moore was last seen in tears with a balled-up doll heading for the dumpster.
1 comments:
Hey! My name is David and I'm a marketing coordinator for Mancouch.com. Mancouch is a partner site of Xanga.com and is a blogging community focused on the life & lifestyle of men. I was actually browsing through your site and thought your posts were incredibly funny and entertaining. I think your posts are very appealing and fun to read. In essence, I think your posts would be great to feature on Mancouch and I'm sure our readers would agree as well.
I was wondering if you'd like to be a featured blogger on Mancouch. We would keep all your posts the same and simply add open-ended questions at the end of each post with a link back to your blog.
Here is how being a featured blogger works:
*
Our editors select posts they'd like to feature from you site. (usually at least 2-3 posts from your blog are featured/week, including older archived posts)
*
When an external post is featured on mancouch, info about the author is shown on the right side of the post, along with a link to their blog on the bottom of the post.
Here is an example of what a post would look like when featured:
http://www.mancouch.com/707227692/10-really-annoying-things-some-guys-do-that-they-shouldnt/
The benefits of becoming a featured blogger:
* Your blog will be exposed to a whole new audience.
* An increase in traffic for your site.
* An increase in traffic on search engines.
I think you would make a great contribution to our site and hope you'll consider joining our network of featured bloggers.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. I hope to hear back from you soon.
Thanks,
--
David Go
Marketing Coordinator
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555 8th Ave Suite 2102
New York, NY 10018
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