The Brain Twinkey | Your Fake News Source Since 2008

14 Home Runs into right field over the first four home games at the New Yankee Stadium has many scratching their heads and wondering if the architecture of the new stadium is to blame. Some are theorizing that the direction the stadium is facing includes a natural breeze that seems to carry routine fly balls over the wall in right field.

While the Yankees are playing away games this weekend the stadium has been packed with meteorologists and other scientists to determine if the wind currents are to blame or is the reason behind the home runs just a combination of bad pitching and/or great hitting.

The preliminary results have them scratching their heads even more.

When the new Yankee Stadium was designed one of the plans was to keep the "look" of the old staduim to the new. A similar look and same field dimensions were atop of the list.

They also didn't want to upset the well known "Bleacher-Creatures" which is the nickname of the bleacher section from the right field seats. This section in the new stadium was also to be designed to mimic the old.

When the right field bleachers were completed it was quickly noted that the color of the seats that were ordered and installed was wrong. In order to copy the color from the old stadium a special paint had to be produced with a unique combination of colors. This way the new seats would actually look worn and discolored and maybe fool the novice Yankee Fan into believing the seats were actually removed and installed from the old stadium.

The unique combination of colors, as well as some metallic substances (used to create the perfect color match) were mixed together. It turns out this combination has created a type of magnetic force that attracts the rubber cement that is used to coat the center of a MLB baseball, towards the seats in right field.

"Ooops!" said Yankees GM Brian Cashman, "Although it's a relief that we at leat know the cause. Although the amount of time it will take to redo the bleacher section will take longer than any road trip the Yankees will take this year so the change will have to occur during the off season."

MLB Commissioner Bud Selig is trying to decide if they should just let the season play out, or if they should look into a new design for the official baseball.

"The Yankees are the greatest show on Earth and I will let them choose" said Selig. "They generate so much revenue for the league that upsetting that franchice would be not only a career mistake but it could also ruin the game entirely. I'll talk to the Steinbrenner's and I'm sure if I agree with their decision, at the least they would pay off the mortgage on my Manhatten Pent House."

There has been no comment at this point from the Yankees in response to Selig's comments.